The No-Effort Experience

I’ve been trying for at least a year to run into a wall repeatedly and violently, but my...

Mar 16th

For a band called The xx a more suitable song title than “Crystalised” would probably be...

Mar 16th

My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-3-14)

Mar 16th

Sometimes I watch the stream, and it seems impenetrable. I don’t belong here. This is an...

Mar 15th

What a sheltered life I’ve led. It’s about time I got kicked right into the real-life...

Mar 15th

I wish someone would help me pop the tiny but infuriating pimple on my soft, white, newly-shaven...

Mar 15th

I’m on a list called PURO SEXO with lots of hot ass. I’m thinking my brains got me...

Mar 15th

If you got nailed in your box, stomp your feet!

Mar 15th

If you got some mail in your box, clap your hands!

Mar 15th

American defense contractors tied to effort to track and kill “militants”. Please tell...

Mar 15th

Wait! They don’t shove you like I shove you. “Slaps” — the preferred love song of...

Mar 15th

Thank you world for the goths.

Mar 15th

Reading the NY Times: “How Men’s Overconfidence Hurts Them as Investors”....

Mar 15th

Why am I here? I don’t even like coffee that much.

Mar 15th

Happy Green Pants & Rock ‘n’ Roll Monday!

Mar 15th

I’m hoping reverse psychology works better on Twitter than on my children.

Mar 15th

Oh, Cheree! What’s the chef’s recommended condiment to this song? Coke? Sex? Cold coffee...

Mar 15th

Suicide. There is no better way to start the week.

Mar 15th

I woke up with a crime scene in my mouth.

Mar 15th

Aspiring writers always think their novel will be the greatest ever. Reality check: most of you will...

Mar 14th

Is there any way we could get the model of supply and demand to apply to politicians?

Mar 14th

When people interested in astrology ask me my sign I usually flip them off. So far they’ve all...

Mar 14th

My sweat tastes like sweat. Blech.

Mar 14th

I can’t believe I just wrote “Deconstruction is ethical” in a DM. I’ll have...

Mar 14th

I won’t tell you what I think a pole fitness class should really be about.

Mar 14th

Interpretation is a such a bitch.

Mar 14th

I use the same nifty excuse for everything: ”The circumstances were really fucked up, you know — in...

Mar 14th

So sweepstakes have nothing to do with cleaning? Another of my illusions brushed away.

Mar 14th

Listen

The Psychedelic Furs – ‘I Wanna Sleep with You’

Mar 14th

Jesus and Guevara, iconic vessels emptied of meaning for you to fill with projections of your...

Mar 14th

They don’t make them any sweeter.

Mar 14th

O Superman (For Massenet)

Mar 14th

I like comfort. I also like sex. Is there a religion for me?

Mar 14th

Thanks Facebook for suggesting I catch up with my husband. It’s been a while. I suppose he...

Mar 14th

Final soliloquy of the interior paramour

Light the first light of evening, as in a room In which we rest and, for small reason, think The...

Mar 14th

There is a light that makes me blue.

Mar 14th

If you’re smiling I’m going to assume you have problems.

Mar 13th

Listen

Malcolm Middleton – ‘We’re All Going to Die’ (Acoustic version)

Mar 13th

Emotional voids give great blowjobs.

Mar 13th

Career planning tip for Big Bad Wolf: less huffing and puffing, more hustling. Either that, or just...

Mar 13th

Sweden watches bad music on TV. I’m raiding my neighbours’ fridges. The Swedish soul,...

Mar 13th

My mother: “Was it at this pizza place or the other they killed those people?”...

Mar 13th

Head, heart, pussy. You’re in two of them.

Mar 13th

If you’re going to keep me wet 24/7 you should also do my laundry.

Mar 13th

My next novel is well under way. Protagonists: Oily-skinned dermatologist Shiny and her lacklustre...

Mar 13th

For all the talk of social ineptitude, nerds sure like to herd.

Mar 13th

I’m disturbed.

Mar 13th

davio1962: thedailywhat: Photo of the Day: William...

Mar 13th

Watch

OK Go – ‘This Too Shall Pass’

Mar 13th

I want to osculate you. Osculate. No, it’s not the same as emasculate. Nevermind, I’ve...

Mar 13th

If you keep posting the link to your favstar.fm page you’re obviously not here for the humour.

Mar 13th

Meet Migraine, prominent sorceress in the Arthurian legend, and also a total pain.

Mar 13th

“Vajayjay”? That is some seriously fucked up nomencliture.

Mar 12th

Today the classmate who blogs for his dog offered me dog treats.

Mar 12th

Sweden is just like any other enlightened country. We too have an indigenous population we...

Mar 12th

As a last resort and nuclear option, just before the essay deadline, I invoked the name of Roland...

Mar 12th

The ugliest English word is “porky”.

Mar 12th

Remember ethics? Good or bad times.

Mar 12th

The problem with interaction is people.

Mar 12th

“Loads of sex”? Girl, that’s heteronormative.

Mar 12th

Ever since the dawn of leggings I’ve been thinking we should call shoes feetings and hats...

Mar 12th

Apparently, on Twitter an emotionally crippled asshole can look like a sweetheart.

Mar 12th

.

Mar 12th

I feel gay. And male.

Mar 12th

The old man smell is coming from my brain.

Mar 12th

Twitter — You Just Can’t Make This Shut Up.

Mar 11th

The associate editor in the video at merriam-webster.com has let her hair down just for me.

Mar 11th

The itch in my butt is one of anticipation rather than experience. Or so I like to tell myself.

Mar 11th

It feels great to be special, and for once not in the short bus way.

Mar 11th

My specialty is torturing myself about things I can’t control.

Mar 11th

So Rivers Cuomo is the New York Attorney General? Blimey.

Mar 11th

Does this thinking that distrustfulness is healthy make me look disturbed?

Mar 11th

Remind me to buy gin.

Mar 11th

I hate myself for knowing stupid things like Sonia Rykiel stripes.

Mar 11th

Not that I care about religion or anything at all, really, except being world-weary. Not caring is...

Mar 11th

One of the redeeming qualities of the Roman Catholic Church is that in their dictionary...

Mar 11th

The Swedish word “trosbekännelse” means either “statement of belief” or...

Mar 11th

Ricœur and Ricotta — The Hermeneutics of Cheese.

Mar 11th

Time to dive into the warm and wet and happy cave of Luhmann and self-organising society. No bacon.

Mar 11th

OH: “Is that a tube of glue?” “Yes.” “Is it any good?”...

Mar 11th

I’m grateful that these buses have wireless so that you don’t have to take a break from...

Mar 11th

Filthily Heideggerian, distinctly anti-Kantian, hermeneutically circling my happy place. Feeling...

Mar 11th

Man Against Man, Man Against Self, Man Against Nature, Man Against Society, Man Against Machine, Man...

Mar 10th

Mar 10th

In this Coreygraphy of Death, should Corin Nemec really get away on account of nothing but two small...

Mar 10th

I went to church and hit on a few other hot mothers with a couple of Hey Marys.

Mar 10th

I’m going to celebrate this Wednesday by listening to Mark Linkous, Vic Chesnutt and Adrian...

Mar 10th

Everything in the NY Times is about me, have you noticed? “In Capital of Rejecter, Damage Is...

Mar 10th

Pulling down my pantyhose is the one concession to liberty that I’m willing to make.

Mar 9th

What goes down is that I feel like throwing up.

Mar 9th

If getting fatter is wrong I don’t want to be right about your prejudices.

Mar 9th

I’m looking for a smile in my image folders.

Mar 9th

The rest of the world stole French kissing.

Mar 9th

I’m trying to work up the courage to ask my husband to slap my face during sex, because...

Mar 9th

If I ever open a store for high-end women’s apparel the only name I could possibly give it is...

Mar 9th

Sometimes I get my c’s and z’s mixed up. Perhaps that’s why he looks so frightened...

Mar 9th

Real estate agents are so inconvenient.

Mar 9th

Feeling surprisingly hurt by not being on your favstar.fm list. Yeah, whatever. Your mother...

Mar 9th

Happy girl.

Mar 9th

I love proofreading.

Mar 9th

My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-3-7)

Mar 9th

The Internet — for when coveting your next-door neighbour just isn’t far enough.

Mar 8th

When insomnia strikes I read other people’s lists.

Mar 8th

I find it odd that needing to pee enhances my masturbation experience but fucks up the fucking.

Mar 8th

I wish there was something new and refreshing about misogyny.

Mar 8th

The Acting President of Nigeria is Goodluck Jonathan. Nomen est omen — I hope.

Mar 8th

Happy FemDom Day! What? Yes, that’s Female Domesticated.

Mar 8th

Is your karma the worst? Prepare to be reborn as a Swedish kindergarten teacher.

Mar 8th

AUTOMATEDMESSAGETONEWFOLLOWERSmy dance card is fullAUTOMATEDMESSAGETONEWFOLLOWERSAUTO...

Mar 8th

Life before Google. (I take it that no one has ever owned an...

Mar 8th

Watch

Is he willing? Can he play? The Knife – ‘Pass This On’

Mar 8th

Dieting? Hating yourself? Wanting to die? Starving? Dying at childbirth? Being cut up? Abused?...

Mar 8th

Welcome. How may the world buttfuck your mind today?

Mar 8th

“For every dollar a man makes a woman makes 63 cents. Now,...”
— Laurie Anderson...

Mar 8th

Oscars? No thanks, I’ll masturbate.

Mar 7th

I come up with this shit as I go, which means I always get turned down for hygienic reasons.

Mar 7th

Hell is other peepholes than your own.

Mar 7th

I used to care deeply about politics. Now I just kick it around.

Mar 7th

I don’t like to single any of my boobs out, so I just call them boobs, be they sideboob,...

Mar 7th

Subtle. Supple. Suckle. Subpar. ‘Sup, bar? Suck tar.

Mar 7th

There is a Swedish saying that goes “Det tar sig, sa mordbrännaren”. Jot it down....

Mar 7th

Any book that says ”brain-friendly” on the cover is probably chewed and processed for your...

Mar 7th

From rejecterslist.org: “I was warm and wet. You were hard. You left me aching. Please return...

Mar 7th

“I can’t be bothered. I can’t be bothered to ride, the motion...”
— Søren Kierkegaard (from...

Mar 7th

You reach for her in the dark but she isn’t there. She still loves you, though. She just...

Mar 6th

My wardrobe also tells the story of a woman whose quest was to find every design ever made in black....

Mar 6th

If Kenneth Branagh could publish an autobiography at the age of 28, why shouldn’t I be able to...

Mar 6th

Going through my wardrobe I have come to the conclusion that some clothes I only ever liked in...

Mar 6th

With gin-filled chocolates you do not, as you might assume, get the best of two worlds.

Mar 6th

I’m going upstairs to fold laundry and drink G&Ts. If you have a better offer, DM me.

Mar 6th

When someone says they’ll give me the straight poop I get out of the way pronto.

Mar 6th

He cleaned the gutters of a season’s worth of ice. It’s not a euphemism, since contrary...

Mar 6th

When I fall on my sword it will be forever, or I’ll never use that subpar brand of sword...

Mar 6th

Shock me, put on your black tether. By yourself.

Mar 6th

Mar 6th

Listen

Pistolita – ‘Killjoy’

Mar 6th

I didn’t know what love was until I met youse.

Mar 5th

As you might have gathered from my Twitter stream, I’m a carefree, lighthearted girl looking...

Mar 5th

Wife? No, I don’t like that word. It sounds like I’m married.

Mar 5th

Marriage isn’t gay or straight, it’s dead.

Mar 5th

We should abolish marriage and the false notions of security and romance that go with it — not lure...

Mar 5th

Mar 5th

Mar 5th

A Cloud in Trousers (Part 1)

You think malaria makes me delirious? It happened. In Odessa it happened. “I’ll come...

Mar 5th

In my Twitter stream there are people I’ve never followed. If there is a @twitter problem I...

Mar 5th

When I’m angry I listen to songs like “Can’t Fight This Feeling”, “All...

Mar 5th

Jessie, you can always sell any drug to me.

Mar 5th

Misspell my name one more time and I’m heating this pitchfork in the fire of my scorn and...

Mar 5th

That “Carpe DM” tweet has been done by others before. Stop retweeting it already.

Mar 5th

I wish people wouldn’t retweet others without checking if the jokes have been done a million...

Mar 5th

This is the woman I’ve told @FussySaffa she looks...

Mar 5th

It’s only Friday if you let me drink a fair amount of gin & tonics and listen to my...

Mar 5th

I get the hives from vagueness.

Mar 5th

Facebook is a great medium for sending birthday wishes to relatives I don’t remember having.

Mar 5th

Oh comely, come on me.

Mar 5th

Hey, last.fm, you fogies! “Female vocalists” is not a genre! It’s as relevant a...

Mar 5th

Gaining some more weight and converting my laptop into a bellytop would be beneficial,...

Mar 5th

36,000 American jobs lost in February. It doesn’t have to be all bad. We really need more...

Mar 5th

I hate you, misanthropy.

Mar 5th

I’m glad I’m not an Italian lesbian. I don’t think I could call any girlfriend...

Mar 5th

I would be the worst member of a speech club. The only thing I’d be willing to contend is that...

Mar 5th

I need you to talk to me without words.

Mar 4th

Hi! I haven’t slept in 40 hours! The black shadows under my eyes have turned into Mordor!

Mar 4th

Before leaving the house I’m topping off this all-nighter with a shower and Bowie’s...

Mar 4th

If you’re well-built, thick-haired, sultry-eyed, smooth-skinned and lean, then you’re...

Mar 4th

Wearing bunny ears and reading Orwell, just like at the Hefner Animal Farm.

Mar 4th

… and received this email from someone anonymous who...

Mar 3rd

So, I posted this…

Mar 3rd

(via bulletlovers)

Mar 3rd

ripslich: supertruestory: I have no idea what these...

Mar 3rd

I’ve thought about this carefully, and I think I’m ready to fuck a Republican. No,...

Mar 3rd

You’ll warm up to my hotness.

Mar 3rd

I put “gasp” in “gasphyxiation”.

Mar 3rd

Sometimes Twitter is like looking out a window at millions of people of whom no one can hear you.

Mar 3rd

God is a hack deity.

Mar 3rd

I have a great idea: panty liner notes. Just think about it.

Mar 3rd

Watch

Barbara – ‘Dis, quand reviendras-tu?’

Mar 3rd

Freedom, femdom, whatever.

Mar 3rd

The greatest tragedy is not the strident clamour of the bad people, but the appalling dress sense of...

Mar 3rd

You know we’re fucked, don’t you? We live in a world that prefers Anna Kournikova to...

Mar 3rd

Pot is American and kettle is British. They only call each other when it’s time to go to...

Mar 3rd

I really like The xx, but would it hurt those kids to open their mouths and ENUNCIATE when they...

Mar 3rd

I’m going to move to Italy and start a genetics research business and call it GenItalia,...

Mar 3rd

The G.W. Bush administration was less about making sure that freedom is enduring, and more about...

Mar 3rd

Penisland?

Mar 3rd